Jessica Gottlieb

I am not (often) a narcissist

X-Mas Eve and Hanukkah

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All on the same night?

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Written by Jessica Gottlieb

December 24, 2008 at 3:37 pm

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Overheard at Chanukkah Last Night

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DAD: So Morgan is telling me you write stuff I’m not supposed to read.

ME: No, you can totally read it, it’s just heavy on the V word

DAD: Huh?

ME: Vagina

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Written by Jessica Gottlieb

December 22, 2008 at 9:20 am

Adolf Redux

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As I lay in bed this morning I felt little feet and soft skin pressed against my calves, and some not so quiet whispering.

“But Dad, won’t you ground me?” Alexander asked.

“No, I’ll buy you a present.” There was a long pause while my boys both let the news sink in. “If you ever have another boy say anything bad about your sister to her your face I want you to punch him as had as you can, right in his face. Got it? Then you come home and tell me and I’ll buy you a present.” My husband asserted to our little one.

“Okay, so you’ll buy me a present after I’m grounded?” Alexander sounded confused.

“No son. I won’t ground you, there are two times you get to hit first. If someone says anything bad about Jews and if a boy says something bad about your sister to you. Then you punch them and you get a present.”

I couldn’t agree, and I couldn’t disagree so I laid in bed listening to what fathers tell their sons when mothers aren’t listening.

Our boy is named Alexander after my Grandfather Adolf who flirted with death by telling the guards at Sachsenhausen that he had worked and should now be free. He was the meanest, toughest, scrappiest man I’ve ever met and I’m thinking he’s delighted by my son and my husband today.

Written by Jessica Gottlieb

December 20, 2008 at 9:57 am

Hide and Seek

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I’m at LA Moms and ECP today

Read them both, just cuz I asked nicely.

xoxo
Jessica

Written by Jessica Gottlieb

December 19, 2008 at 11:16 am

My Mom

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Check out ECP today. I’m so glad to be her daughter.

Written by Jessica Gottlieb

December 18, 2008 at 9:31 am

Walmart Once Again Bungles, Offends and Alienates

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I don’t hate Sam Walton, I don’t hate jobbers or discounts or international trade. I don’t even hate many lawyers. I hate when corporations jump through hoops to set up faux social media (social media includes listening) in order to reach out to everywoman and then they trample us.

Literally.

There is only one thing for Walmart to do at this point in time.

Apologize.

There’s a dead man and his father had to bury him. Yes, a father buried a son so that someone could get a flat screen TV, cheap. Rather than apologize Walmart has just today taken this off their website.

Just to be sure that search engines pick this up properly, let me give you the text.

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Bring a buddy!!! If you guys think you can do this alone, think again people! These shoppers are die hard and they’ll run you over like there’s no tomorrow! The more you have, the better!

This comes from Kim at Hormone Colored Days. Naturally the mom who had originally posted it come through with a thoughtful comment.

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Written by Jessica Gottlieb

December 16, 2008 at 10:33 am

Jane & Alexander: Disguising Your Children Online

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First off, I’d like to welcome all the SITS girls. If you don’t know what SITS is, you should, go read about them over there. They’re cute and they’re saucy and they understand the import of women joining together.

I digress.

When I run into girlfriends about town then say to me, “I read your blog, who is Alexander?” “My son.” I say. They stare at me blankly, puzzled.

Despite the fact that this blog is just a few months old, I am not new to the realm of Mommy Blogging. There are many reasons to disguise your children, and they vary with age. Read the rest of this entry »

Written by Jessica Gottlieb

December 14, 2008 at 9:07 am